For me, the bigger lesson here is not so much about handling failure, but setting up expectations appropriately. I should have reinforced the joy of participation: I paid $30 to run around the lake that I run around every for free every week, and I did because running with 2,000 people is way more fun. I also should have talked to her more about personal goals: to finish the whole race, to run without walking, to beat a certain time. If happiness is about living within your means, then that applies to your aspirations as well.

Finding out you can fail is extremely hard. I didn’t have that kind of visceral reaction until I was a sophomore in high school — far too late IMHO. Thank you for this post. It’s sparked a discussion between my wife and me about how to let our daughter fail but also let her know that 1) it’s okay to fail, and 2) it’s important to keep trying if it’s important enough, even if you never ever win.

Wish us luck!